Posted in Art, College Work, Word, Image, Sequence

I Don’t Want To Die

After talking with my counsellor, I decided to explore more about emotion, feelings and experiences I have been through.

This one directly handles how I used to be – I still am classed as ‘suicidal’ but not to an extent of following through with it due to being too ‘stubborn’ to give up, as people have suggested.

I decided to show a version of me in a position I have been in while showing a more recent thought on the wall, within the bathroom.

The reasoning for this is, although I sometimes think the world would be better off without me, and although I feel worthless, I don’t want to be in the same situtuation as I once was. I don’t want to die by my own hands, I’m not wanting to actually give up my right to live just because some people think I should, let alone because my own brain thinks I should.

I am somewhat happy in my life, I will always have my downs and the times I think I would be better off dead.

But I can honestly say, I will (hopefully) never act upon those thoughts and feelings.


The Artwork is mine.

Inspired by William Kentridge, Charles Burns, and Debbie Drechsler.



Hello! My name is Castiel Gutierrez. I'm Panromantic, Asexual, and Trans Enby. I am a Graphic Designer, Photographer, Published Author, IT Technician, and Human Rights activist based in Yorkshire, England. I'm a Lover of food, video games, and music. And I'm probably the Queerest person you know ;)

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